Its time

I feel as though I'm going to throw up. I'm nervous, and shakey and my stomach is in knotts. This is the side that very few people see, this is the real me.

A lil under a year ago a good friend of mine got a job at my company, and because of the long commute she ended up moving into my spare bedroom. Over the last 10 months our relationship has deteriorated and I'm left feeling confused and helpless. And now the time has come for me to tell her she needs to move.

I feel as though I can't breathe...I hate confrontation. Even when I know its the right thing to do...I still dread that moment; that moment of anger, of recollection...the moment of complete truth, its all there in its own way.

I can't go on with the way things are though...the unspoken realization that things are different. A home full of weary glances, moods, tension and stress. It never really goes away, just festers, grows...intensifies.
And now the time is here.

The fuse has been lit for awhile now...is it going to blow out or just explode?

Feeling Comfortable

There is a difference between content and comfortable. There is an opportunity coming my way for a new job and the more I think about it the less I'm sure what to do. In the beginning when I was approached I was excited that somebody wanted me for my talents. I've never been approached by somebody wanting me on their team. I've always had to search for jobs...they've never come knocking at my door. This one is, its knocking and I don't even know if I wanna answer the door.

Relationships...

In the last 2 years I've learned that every relationship I've had or will have...will always change. What I think I have now...may not exist in another 2 years, and what I took for granted before may not always be there.

When I graduated college there were a few friendships I thought for sure would endure the test of time..and as the wheel turns I learn that some friendships were only meant to last for a certain duration...and some friendships will evolve with every life stage I find myself in.

There's a time...a place and a season for everything.

I had a good IM conversation with a friend over the weekend. She was like, I lost respect for *** when she couldn't bother to tell me she didn't want to be my friend anymore. Her typed words hit a huge cord with me. How do you tell somebody you don't want to be their friend anymore? How do you cut the tie when it already hurts so much? Everything in me tells me to walk away, to cut my losses now and to put myself first. The pain is too great...the mood changes and attitude is too much and I know that its not my problem, its her problem with the world. So what do I do?

I sat journaling earlier last week, and the question I posed to myself...what sets me apart? What makes Wiski special? Aside from aestic differences and personality quarks here and there, I realized something I've always known, yet rarely took any pride in. At the end of the day, I don't give up on people. I may say I'm done...I may wash my hands of the situation, but I never give up on people.

The possibility for growth, change and HOPE is always alive in my life.

And thus..there is my quandry. I can only avail myself for assistance, give space to the point where we no longer communicate and take the immeasurable rudeness and attitude for so long. Do I close myself off now and cross my fingers and hope that time is the solution for ***, that in the end she'll settle her own issues with the world?

Sometimes I wonder...

Just some random thoughts...

I feel as though I'm at a weird juncture in my life...its as if with every step I take forward I realize how I grow and change...and I my decisions today affect my world tomorrow. I've always known this...but I'm maturing, I'm realizing that all the thoughts in the world don't equate practice and action...all good intentions can just be that, intentions without manifestation.

Relationships are are like rubber bands...you can only stretch them so far before they snap back or just plain break. How do you pick and chose which band you're willing to break? Or rather...is this something that just happens? The bands get old, fragile and weathered and after awhile its like you're willing for them to just pop so you can start all over again?

Why is grief the way it is? My uncle passed away in March...and while I know thats not forever ago, I can't seem to grasp why some days hit me harder than others..why some days the lil things just set me off and the tears start running, and then there are other days when I think of him and can't stop laughing...where the grin is glued to my face and I can't wipe it away.

I'm on the edge of something new...not totally unfamiliar, in my mind I've been there many times before, but this time I'm sure the stop isn't going to pass me by. The bus is going to slow down, I'm going to pull the cord...and you know what, this time I'm getting off. This time I'm reaching my destination.

"I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without
signing them, was often a woman." - Virginia Woolf (1882-1941) [Stephen]
British Fiction Writer, Critic

"People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just
because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost." -
Jackson Brown (Life's Little Instruction Book)

"Hope is nature's veil for hiding truth's nakedness." - Alfred BernhardNobel (1833-1886) Swedish-Russian Chemist

No Title

The world as it is, as it’s been…and even more as it will be; never fails to leave me in awe. I have so many questions, but only partial answers, slips of truth muddled with the emotions of reality. Pieces that stand on their own, that’s what I choose to make my mark with.

Difficulties of understanding and perspective, where does the answer lie? Is it found in a bottle, a prescription label or how about a pipe? Can I wave a wand, chant a few words and have the instantaneous result I so desire? As I age I realize the answer becomes thinner, silkier, and less tangible; the web becomes sticky, tangled and a knotted mess.

Ownership of character…choices of need, want and then there is obligation and inner fulfillment, how does it all balance, compromise and does the end result feel how I feel? Am I standing with my arms wide open only to have my muscles grow tired, weary and drained? Am I left used, neglected and lonely? Or perhaps I have the greatest gift I could ever give myself, I find myself on a scavenger hunt for not only redemption but validation.

Muse

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Anais Nin

I know why familles were created, with all their imperfections. They humanize you. They are made to make you forget yourself occasionally, so that the beautiful balance of life is not destroyed.
Anais Nin

I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing.
Anais Nin

I stopped loving my father a long time ago. What remained was the slavery to a pattern.
Anais Nin

I will not be just a tourist in the world of images, just watching images passing by which I cannot live in, make love to, possess as permanent sources of joy and ecstasy.
Anais Nin

If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don't write, because our culture has no use for it.
Anais Nin

My ideas usually come not at my desk writing but in the midst of living.
Anais Nin

The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say.
Anais Nin

There are many ways to be free. One of them is to transcend reality by imagination, as I try to do.
Anais Nin

We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.
Anais Nin

We travel, some of us forever, to seek other states, other lives, other souls.
Anais Nin

When we blindly adopt a religion, a political system, a literary dogma, we become automatons. We cease to grow.
Anais Nin

A leaf fluttered in through the window this morning, as if supported by the rays of the sun, a bird settled on the fire escape, joy in the task of coffee, joy accompanied me as I walked.
Anais Nin
Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age.
Anais Nin

Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
Anais Nin

Lonely

Scott shared this song with me...and I couldn't help but think about my Aunt Sheri.


"Lonely Day"
Such a lonely day
And its mine
The most loneliest day of my life
Such a lonely day
Should be banned
It's a day that I can't stand
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
Such a lonely day
Shouldn't exist
It's a day that I'll never miss
Such a lonely day
And its mine
The most loneliest day of my life
And if you go, I wanna go with you
And if you die, I wanna die with you
Take your hand and walk away
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
The most loneliest day of my life
Life
Such a lonely day
And its mine
It's a day that I'm glad I survived

Sadly so true

"The poverty of our century is unlike that of any other. It is not, as
poverty was before, the result of natural scarcity, but of a set of
priorities imposed upon the rest of the world by the rich. Consequently,
the modern poor are not pitied - but written off as trash. The
twentieth-century consumer economy has produced the first culture for
which a beggar is a reminder of nothing." - John Berger (1926~) English
Painter, Teacher, Art Critic

SPRING!

Today is the first day of spring!

I feel alive...like the world is new again, as if I can finally shed some of that baggage I've been carrying around.

I'm ready to just be and breathe,
I'm willing to let go,
be me and get rid of the crap that has a tendency to pull me down.

The new year has settled in nicely for the most part,
and now its just a matter of doing some spring cleaning,
getting things in order and just going for it!

I have no reason to hold myself back...and I'm done with excuses!

Look out universe, I'm getting rid of the shit in my life!

Being Slapped...

So, this is going to be one of the strangest blogs I've ever written, then again, most of my blogs are strange!

I know something I'm not supposed to...and I'm so hurt that somebody could plan what they're planning! I can't really talk to anybody about this, but yeah, I'm frustrated right now! Why is it that I give and I give and rarely do people treat me with the same compassion? Doesn't anybody BUT me practice the golden rule? Sometimes I feel like I should just retreat into myself....is there a lesson to be learned here?

Buttprints in the Sand

One night I had a wondrous dream,
One set of footprints there was seen,
The footprints of the Goddess they were,
But mine were not along the shore.
But then some stranger prints appeared,
and I asked Her, "What have we here?
These prints are large and round and neat,
But much too big to be from feet."
"My child," She said in somber tones,
"For miles I carried you alone.
I challenged you to walk in faith,
But you refused and made me wait."
"You would not learn, you would not grow,
The walk of faith, you would not know,
So I got tired, I got fed up,
And there I dropped you on your butt.
"Because in life, there comes a time,
When one must fight, and one must climb,
When one must rise and take astand,
Or leave their butt prints in the sand."

Author unknown

me - raw

I’m not perfect.

Last night I had another one of those moments where it’s like a light bulb goes off, but its not like I’m realizing something new…its just more of a reminder of how disjointed I can be at times. Not sure if disjointed is the word I wanted there, but yeah, with the flow of my thoughts. The duality of me…the fact that I feel at times that my life is a mere ironic oxymoron.

I feel as though I deal with things that are hard, but yet, I never want to single myself out, I never want to be different from other people, but then at the same time I want people to know where I’m coming from, I want them to know what its like to be me, its not easy. Then I think about it and its like, what the fuck, there are so many people out there who have real problems. But aren’t my problems real problems, aren’t they validated?

I struggle with being nice, socially conscious and wallowing in self pity, which is funny, because I despise pathetic people who wrap themselves up in their own problems, but yet, a good sense of self appreciation and navel gazing does a body good.

Sometimes I think I’m crazy, like I’m the only one in the world who thinks the things I do, but then, I know I’m not, I’m one dot of humanity on the sphere that is the whole, a single sprinkle of dust.

I was angry last night, and hurt…but that wasn’t want got to me, nope, it was the complete feeling of helplessness. I desperately need to fill in control of my life, I need to know that I’m driving this car….and when faced with limitations, or feeling as though I’m a caged bird stuck between a rock and a hard place I just want to shout, scream…runaway, but I can’t do that. I care too much.

So there I was last night in the car with Scott, Carla and Schanelle on the way to karaoke and I had this epiphany of sorts….when I die, I’m not sure if I want a headstone, a green burial sounds appealing, but so does the thought of spreading my ashes to the universe, when all is said and done, I want my epitaph to be, “She loved despite faults”.

Friendship

I'm truly blessed with wonderful friends! So often I find myself in that rutt of humanity, and instead of focusing on what I don't have, I lose sight of what I do have! Its always the lil things that catch my eye, the nuances of life that deeply matter.

Yep, thats it...my profound thought for the day has now passed.

Believe

Believe not because some old manuscripts are produced.

Believe not because it is your national belief,

Believe not because you have been made to believe from your childhood.

But reason truth out, and after you have analyzed it

Then if you find it will do good to one and all,

Believe it, live up to it and help others to live up to it.

"Buddha"

Being a Pain in the ASS

I am irritable, there is no other way to say it, so I’m just going to spit it out. Lately everything and I mean everything has gotten on my nerves! People, situations, anything and everything has ticked me off. I can’t put a finger on it, but that’s the way it is….

My husband, who I lovingly adore, he’s irritating me over the smallest things in the world, ordinary things that would never bug me. His phone kept beeping last night and it was like somebody had their nails on a chalkboard.

A friend of mine, I totally love her as a sister, and she too is on my nerves! It’s nothing big, and if I was to say it aloud I’d laugh at myself, and yet the littlest things bug me lately.

My mother…you guessed it; she’s on my nerves too! She’s not doing anything she’s never done before, and yet she bugs! She talks and talks and talks…and she’s always TALKED and the last few days I just don’t want to listen, to her, to anybody.

Nothing that’s irritated me is a big thing at all, and I’ve never felt this way before. Its like I’m becoming OCD over the stupidest, smallest, trivial things in my life. Disturbances that I never noticed before are like right there ticking me off!

True Fire

"The day will come when, after harnessing the winds, the tides and
gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of Love. And on that
day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have
discovered fire." - Pierre Teilhard De Chardin (1881-1955) French
Philosopher, Paleontologist

Daydreaming

I want to be six years old again lying in the grass near my swing set staring at the clouds above me. I want to be mesmerized by their shape…I want to daydream about what it all means…cumulus, stratus and cirrus…In my mind I’m standing with my legs slightly apart, my hands on my hips and my tummy is sticking out. I’ve mastered the care bear stare! I want to roll in the clouds, travel with Mary Poppins and see the world from on high. I want to be a kid again without a care in the world.

All that Glitter

Work became my therapy today…I’m not sure how that happened, but it did, and strangely enough I’m ok with that. I woke up and I didn’t feel moody, but quickly from there it was like the grumpy mood over took me. It’s that girly time of the month for me and I’ve really been feeling like one big mood swing lately. When I’m up, I'm UP, when I’m down, I’m short, rude and a total bitch. Aww…to be the woman I am!

Scott and I went to Vegas last weekend and had a fabulous time! We didn’t do anything extravagant, but it was a break away from the world that I think we both needed. I got us a room near the airport and it was our “Ghetto Palace” complete with icky carpets and an industrial view of sorts. We stood on the front porch and watched the sunset and in that moment it didn’t matter that the room smelled like old cigarettes, all that mattered was that there we were, together in the moment, by ourselves.

We hung out with Chari on Saturday night and partied like rockstars! Or at least we tried to party like rockstars. Scott won $130 on penny slots, he called me Cleo and we met a dude with a fake British accent….all in all it was a typical night in Vegas. The taxi driver was convinced Chari was my girlfriend, we ate like KINGS for $20 and we drank like we knew everything and didn’t have a care in the world.

Sunday morningish Scott and I drove to the Little Church of the West and took a few pictures outside. It’s almost been a year…and as we pulled up I was overwhelmed by remembering the lil things; like a stupid joke my brother told me as Scott and I arrived for our wedding, or the steps where we took some pictures and I almost tripped over nothing. The mundane meeting magical. Scott took my hands, kissed my ring finger and said all over again, “I love you forever, forever I do.”

When Death Comes - Mary Oliver

When death comes
like the hungry bear in autumn;
when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse

to buy me, and snaps the purse shut;
when death comes
like the measles-pox;

when death comesl
ike an iceberg between the shoulder blades,

I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering:
what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness?

And therefore I look upon everything
as a brotherhood and a sisterhood,
and I look upon time as no more than an idea,
and I consider eternity as another possibility,

and I think of each life as a flower, as common
as a field daisy, and as singular,

and each name a comfortable music in the mouth
tending as all music does, toward silence,

and each body a lion of courage, and something
precious to the earth.

When it's over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

When it is over, I don't want to wonder
if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened,
or full of argument.

I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.

Mary Oliver

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rainare moving across the landscapes,over the prairies and deep trees,the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

MARY OLIVER
Dream Work

My Friend Joan

Grammar is a piano I play by ear. All I know about grammar is its power. Joan Didion

I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear. Joan Didion

Was there ever in anyone's life span a point free in time, devoid of memory, a night when choice was any more than the sum of all the choices gone before? Joan Didion

Self-respect is a question of recognizing that anything worth having has a price. Joan Didion

The writer is always tricking the reader into listening to their dream. Joan Didion

Now I lay me down to sleep...

As a child I used to say "Now I lay me down to sleep....." and it was routine for me. I did it because I thought thats what all good lil boys and girls said before they went to sleep. As I journaled last night I realized I didn't recite that prayer seeking divine guidance or protection, but simply because my grandma taught it to me and it was something special she and I shared. When I'm lonely or depressed I still recite the same prayer, and the calming effect is always the same, and always there.

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
Guard me while I sleep tonight,
And wake me safe at dawn's first light.

One More Month

In a month I will no longer be a newlywed. I’m not sure how I feel about that. My love for my husband is still new and fresh, there are still things I’m learning about him and to be quite honest I’m shocked its been almost a year already!

Last year at this time I was eagerly counting the days until my wedding day. I was excited that so many of my friends were going to Vegas to see us get married and for the first time in my life I felt completely loved. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve always felt loved by my friends and family, but getting married offered a new prospective in my life. People were genuinely happy for me and I felt it.

As I walked down the aisle in our small chapel I laughed and cried and it was like everything I ever craved was right there. I had a man to share my life with, to tackle the heartaches with and to celebrate every joy with. I’m a firm believer that there are moments of complete lucidity, this was one of those moments. The world shined around me, and in that moment I felt like the biggest star

Singular Goals

Standing at the edge of meaning where chaos and harmony live together in balance finding symbolism in everything and comfort in the lil things, trying my best to make things right, to be the person I seek to be...this is my goal this spring. Juxtapositions of thoughts of happiness and pain, of meaning, chaos and harmony.

No Title

My fish at work are growing up. When I first began babysatting them, their mommy is on maternity leave, they were on the small side...and now its been just about two months and they're HUGE! The lighter one is developing spots, which is completely normal, and the dark one acts like one of these days he's going to jump out of the tank and sit in my lap. They're possessed hungry lil fuckers, and I love 'em!

Last weekend was good...we had a yard sale and it went pretty well on Saturday. I got to spend some time with my family, had a date with Scott and checked out the Sunday services at the Goddess Temple in Orange County. All in all it was the mind relaxation the weekend provided that I desperately needed.

I'm not sure whats been with me the last week, but I've been moody, withdrawn and just in a reckless mood. I know how I used to deal with funks like this...and I know that I need to find more positive outlets. I have the desire to solve all my problems with the wave of a wand and it just isn't that easy. I need to figure out what it is thats needling me and then fix it. Thats how I work, how I want to operate....and yet its not that simple.

I don't know whats wrong with me. I'm happy with my job for the first time in like ever. I'm ecstatic about my marriage and I'm excited knowing that our first anniversary is coming up soon. I have supportive friends who love me for me, and yet there's still something there that isn't content, that feels withdrawn...that yearns to smile all the time and mean it.

Taking Chances

I went to an open casting call for the Biggest Loser on Saturday at the NBC Studios in Burbank. I went alone and stood in line for about five hours...and I had fun! When I decided to go there was no looking back. I asked a couple friends if they wanted to go with me, and nobody really seemed interested. I didn't want to coerce anybody to keep me company, and in hindsight it was a good experience for me to go by myself. I may have overweight friends, but at the end of the day, I wasn't going for anybody, but myself. I met a few cool people in line and honestly it didn't feel like I was in line all that long. The people watching was great and I was definitely entertained! The actual time spent with the casting people was short, but I've convinved I made an impression! So...here's to throwing it out to the universe and seeing what happens!

Yesterday Scott and I went to the Museum of Tolerance in LA. I've wanted to go there for years, finally it just happened. We were like, "So, what should we do today..." and the next thing I knew Scott was looking up directions on how to get there online. Wow, what an experience! I had heard good reviews, but there is nothing like going and experiencing it for yourself.

Tomorrow is Valentines Day and I can hardly wait! It'll be two years ago tomorrow when Scott and I finally ended the no-label phase of our relationship. I'll never forget how special our first Valentines Day was together. Scott planned a super secret surprise and away we went...and we keep going! I'm convinced there is nothing more beautiful in this world than LOVE!

Catechism for a witch's child

Catechism for a witch's child
by J.L. Stanley

When they ask to see your gods
your book of prayers
show them lines
drawn delicately with veinson the underside of a bird's wing
tell them you belive
in giant sycamores mottled
and stark against a winter sky
and in nights so frozen
stars crack open spilling streams of molten ice to earth
and tell them how you drank
the holy wine of honeysuckle
on a warm spring day
and of the softness
of your mother
who never taught you
death was life's reward
but who believed in the earth
and the sun
and a million, million light yearsof being.

One

Scott and I went to Dana Point yesterday and I absolutely loved every minute we were there. We walked along the jetty and sat amongst the rocks and enjoyed the view. We rocked…and rolled and lived in the moment. The harbor was peaceful and quiet, and my thoughts were at peace. I was able to sit, relax and meditate. I can’t tell you how good it was to just be…to sit in the sun on a clear blue day…to watch families fishing and playing in the sand. Scott and I daydreamt about how it would be when we’re parents…and we both giggled at the thought of having a toddler in a diaper getting their toes wet in the water. Its moments like these when I feel alive, moments like these when I feel connected and at peace.

Passing

I'm going to a funeral in a lil bit and I'm not looking forward to it. I wasn't particularly close to the person who passed...but I did know her and I'm shocked that she's gone. How does one act in situations like this? Death is a natural part of life, and unfortunately most people seem to think its the end of the world...and while it is an end of this plane, I know its not the end. People don't go out like lightbulbs. I'm not cold or heartless when it comes to death...I'm just in that unfeeling stage right now.

Because

Constant flux of change, of discovery
I did something new, I’ve modified my appearance.
I now have bangs, and that’s all I have to say about that.

One of those days...

There are days when I would just love to cry...is that a bad thing, does that make me normal, or just incredibly emotional? Who knows...but yeah, today is one of those days. I try to help others and the best laid plans are just that plans...and plans are just that, they don't equate expected action, and there's always a hole for dissatisfaction and then that dissatisfaction leads into blame and I don't like that.

I hate feeling let down...and even more I hate letting down others.

I want to

I’m having one of those restless days…it happens sometimes. I wake up feeling fine, I get to work and I feel alright…and then when I start to get into the swing of work, it just doesn’t come. I don’t waste energy trying to explain it…it is what it is.

So here I am, procrastinating at work…..and it feels good! Sometimes I think people just need to give their brain a break…and that’s what I’m striving for today!

I haven’t written in awhile…and this isn’t going to be a post full of literary genius, HA! I wish…just more of me putting down some thoughts, bring some people up to speed…stuff of that nature.

I turned over a new leaf on January 2nd..and I’m feeling good. I’m not calling it a diet, I dislike that word, and I’ve learned, if I’m going to make true progress than I’m gonna have to change my living and eating habits. I know I will never be small, and losing weight isn’t my primary goal, getting healthy is. I’m lucky that I’ve never had any serious health issues…but I’m also young, and lucky…and smart enough to know there’s some hereditary stuff I’m likely to have to deal with…so why not be a better me?

Before the first of the year I went and spoke to my doctor about my weight and she informed me that I would qualify for the gastric bypass, and I even went to an orientation about it. After the orientation Scott and I went to the Disneyland Hotel to walk around and look at the holiday decorations. I remember feeling out of sorts…Yes, I’m fat, I’ve always been big…and I’ve always accepted myself for who I am. Sure, I have insecurities like the next person….but I also know I’m lucky. My weight has never hindered me, its never gotten me down, and in all honesty I’ve never had a problem being me, making friends or in the past dating. People have joked before, saying, “Wiski…you just don’t know you’re fat.”

The hell I don’t! I just won’t ever let something keep me from being the happy confident person I am.

I’ve accomplished everything I’ve put my mind, energy and effort into….and I’ve never honestly tried to be a healthier better me, so why not now? I’ve never tried to eat better…I’ve never tried to consistently exercise, and I don’t know why I haven’t….but I do know that now is the time for me to focus on me!

Its been almost two weeks and I’m feeling good. Last week I went to the gym four times, and this week I’ll hit the gym 3-4 times. I’m actually enjoying sweating…and talk about energy and feeling better!

I know I can do this…I know I can succeed…and I can’t explain how I know…but I really have the faith and confidence that I can do this! I know I’m a strong person…and I think I’m gonna find out just how strong I really am!

Since the beginning

Smiles that last
Huggling at night
Random phone calls throughout the day, just to tell me he’s thinking about me
Sharing moments late at night
Wiping my tears, holding me close
Sharing our dreams
Cheering each other on
Text messages that only he and I get
Celebrating everything
Cherishing the lil things
Constantly holding hands