I haven't written in a while...and that bums me out. At times I have so many thoughts swirling around, that just letting it all go in a stream of consciousness fashion is quite therapeutic, but yet, there's never a moment for the weary.
So just a few thoughts this morning….
*Scott and I’ve been sick. I got hit hard with a cold on Monday. I’m on the mend now, so that’s a bonus
*Strawberry margaritas last night were just what the sympathy doctor ordered
*I have a date with Amber tomorrow after work, that makes me smile:)
*Faire last weekend was fun! I love seeing Carla smile like a Cheshire cat
*I have explosive gas this morning….not sure where its coming from. But yeah, this is a totally new experience for me
*Saturn sucks ass!
*I have pretty sparkly nails*
I love singing random songs in the morning on the way to work
*I miss Myspace…but at the same time it feels liberating…hard to explain
*Stupid people, are still stupid people in my book, even if they are nice stupid people, in the end they are sill stupid, its not like the nice part negates the stupid part
*I LOVE dvr (aka wannabe tivo)!
*One more weekend of faire…and then my bedroom will look like a bedroom! I’ll actually have time/motivation to finish unpacking and organizing
*Work….lets just say its been, and will continue to be a LONG week for me

Pictures

Are worth what?A faded memorya kaleadiscope of feelinga moment held prisoner in a frame.Reflections of light, of feeling of recollection, is that what a picture is?

My mom said that to me when I graduated high school, and I remember agreeing with her. I had everything laid out…in my mind every detail was accounted for, and when I arrived to a new stage in my life I knew the stage directions, in fact I think I had them memorized. My master plan was ingrained in my head, and at the new start of each new phase I had a road map complete with a color coded legend. In the last few years I’ve veered away from the master plan, I realized that wasn’t the life I wanted. Every season is a new adventure; every new phase in my life is approached with wonder, with newness, and with a renewed optimism.

I drove to work with the sun in my eyes this morning…instead of being annoyed, I was excited that it was a new day. I woke up this morning with this zest for life I can’t explain. I remembered my mom’s lame saying about glasses, it was like instant recall on my part, and you know what, that’s exactly how I felt. My future is DAMN bright, and that makes me incredibly happy. It’s like I’ve rediscovered the yellow brick road…

Happiness isn’t a destination, its an adventure, a reward, but most of all its peace within yourself. There’s been quite a few naysayers in the past few months, and I’ll admit they’ve gotten me down. Some despicable things have been said about my character, and who I am, and what I’ve supposedly done…and you know what I’m human, it hurt, and it continues to hurt when people I don’t know come up to me and say, I heard about you...and you know what I have an answer - FUCK IT. I know who I am, I know I’m a good person, and I know the truth, and you know what, that’s all that matters.

Tonight Scott and I have a DATE and I can’t wait! I’ve definitely felt like Scott and I haven’t had an abundant amount of “us” time lately. With my busy schedule, then faire, moving to the house, buying the new bed and then Amber’s wedding, we haven’t had any extra money. This if the first time we’re both getting paid in the last month and a half that we don’t have a big expense to worry about. I’m very much looking forward to tonight. Carla has this really pretty black dress she’s had for awhile and I have a feeling is going to look stellar on me! (I hope anyways!) OH, and I think I may even wear heels!! Aww…how I adore being in love and a goof! Its by far the BEST feeling in the world!

Last night Schanelle came over and we hung out in the garage. I love the new house…but there’s a fondness in my heart for our garage. Its like the “meeting place”. There’s been tears, darts, laughter, cigarettes, stories, a cop, some alcohol, the mullet manager, secrets and friendship. Once faire is over, I can’t wait to get everything in order! Not that it isn’t already pimp…but its only going to get better! Just wait for the disco bar!

So I got into work a lil early today, but did I start working right away? Why of course not...why would I do something like that? I mean, yes I planned on it...but then I checked my email and before I knew it I was window shopping on Torrid online, and then that led me to window shopping at Old Navy...and yeah, I've officially wasted a half an hour drooling over clothes I want, but I can't afford....but I still want ‘em. Good thing I get paid tomorrow, and then again on Saturday:) Aww….I love the feeling of money in the bank!

Which leads me to my babble this morning, why is it that people want what they can't have, why is it that for some the grass always looks greener on the other side. I guess its one of those things that is like an idiosyncrasy of human nature. I mean, yeah, there are days when the grass looks a lil more delightful than what I have in my front yard, but you know what, I'd never jeopardize what I have for whats next door. What I have is MINE, its my own grass, I worked for it...I water it (well the gardeners do) but you get the point. And if there comes a time where I want new grass, when my grass isn't making me happy, then I'll adapt, modify and move forward. I guess my point is to value what you have, make it your own, because in the end, who wants to spend the rest of their life looking next door and admiring somebody else's grass? Plant your own seeds, nurture them and then watch them grow.

I'm sad...well not really, bummed is more like it, I've been cut off from Myspace at work. Our web censors classified it as a "personals and dating" site, and I can no longer access it. Oh well, life moves forward. I'll miss the procrastination of bulletins, but I'll live. SO, if you're reading this (and more people read this than I'm aware of), send me some procrastination mail to wiskigirl@yahoo.com!

Speaking of which...when I started this blog I told two people about it, and bam, next thing I know people are like I saw your blog, and I'm like, the one on Myspace, and they're all, um no, your livejournal one...I guess I should've known better. I've realized that we (or more specifically I, I don’t want to use the pronoun we, because well I don’t know who YOU are) live in a vulture internet community. Somedays I'm amused by it and other days I think it’s incredibly ridiculously funny. Don't people have anything better to do? What happened to enjoying the world around you? What happened to having a life outside of the internet world? Sure, I'm a firm believer that we're all connected, but seriously, does it have to be through blogs, myspace, yahoo groups, IMs and all that jazz? Just something I've been thinking about lately....

I used to be addicted to my cell phone, I never went anywhere without it. It was in my pocket, my purse, held in my hands, whatever, it was there, right by my side. I would spend hours on the phone...and I thought nothing of it. Then one day I left my phone at home, and you know what, it was NICE! It was peaceful not having it beep and ring all the time. Sure, I love receiving text messages, but I also love leaving my phone on silent. I own my phone, it doesn't own me.

Anyways kiddies…work is long overdue…and in my typical Jerry Springer fashion, take care of yourself and each other!

can you see?

Sometimes I wonder how the world can be so complicated, how things can be turned upside down, how do you make sense of nonsense? I mean, does that in itself make any sense? How do you take the complicated, the twisted and the misunderstood and turn it around into something not bizarre, not hurtful and transform it into something that is comprehendible, something that can be dissected and analyzed? Why is it that when given all the pieces of the puzzle things still don't come together, is there still a piece missing, or was the puzzle never meant to be understood? Why are there always so many more questions than there are answers?

I love Moulin Rouge...because call me a hippie, a bohemian, whatever, but I truly think Truth and Beauty are what matters. Do you feel what I'm saying? If given the chance I'd love to run naked through a field of wild flowers and join in song with the birds. (Yes, I'm aware of the idea of a woman my size running, combined with the fact that I'm incredibly clumsy has many of you laughing, plus, I can't sing to save my life...). but I digress....

Seriously though, I've come to the profound conclusion that people make their lives much more complicated than needed. We argue about all sorts of things, we classify, label and separate ourselves over mundane and trivial differences, we fail to communicate over the simplest matters and in the end we lose touch with ourselves, with what really matters and in the end, we're left with a void of sorts.

I don't pretend to know anything, let alone everything. In fact this blog is a product of mindless musings fed by boredom at work combined with my propensity to think too much. And through all this babble, I think I have a valid point....is there a way to make sense out of nonsense? Is there a way, a full proof method to see through all the bull shit in life to see what really matters, or have we all failed to see whats right in front of us. Are we really becoming a society of the blind?

30 short days

In the last month...

I've gotten married
Turned 25
Lost friends
Moved to a bigger house
Gained better friends
Learned the value of being true to myself
Gotten closer to my brother
Realized that I can't save everybody
Cried a lot
Laughed even more
Was reminded that quality will always outshine quantity
Written a lot

Things to look forward to...
BBQs this summer in the yard
Housewarming party
Faire being over
Leann's wedding in October
A real vacation!
Promotion at work
Possibly going back to school in the fall
Decorating the new place
Planting flowers
Enjoying my wind chimes
Lazy Sundays