Agreed

Lest we ever forget to ask…
"The purpose of art is to lay bare the questions which have been hidden by the answers." - James Baldwin (1924-1987) American Novelist, Essayist

Dali – one of the first artists I actually liked…then again I have a thing for surrealism…
"In order to acquire a growing and lasting respect in society, it is a good thing, if you possess great talent, to give, early in your youth, a very hard kick to the right shin of the society that you love. After that, be a snob." - Salvador Dali (1904-1989) Spanish Painter, Printmaker

Not sure if I’ve posted the next one…so if I did, oh well, and if I didn’t, then good. Ani DiFranco is one of the few voices I admire.
"And I'm wondering what it will take for my country to rise? First we admit our mistakes, then we open our eyes or nature comes to one last dumb decision and America the beautiful is just one big subdivision"-Ani DiFranco

Amazing Grace

Now I know people will read the below and be like…”What, Wiski’s a Pagan?”
So for the record, that is not the point...when it comes to spirituality and religion I dislike labels, stereotypes and assumptions. In my opinion, there’s too much out there to narrowly define myself as anyone thing. I’m “connected”, and I’m leaving it at that

Amazing (Pagan) Grace

Amazing grace, how sweet the Earth
that bore a witch like me!
I once was burned, now I survive,
was hung and now I sing.

T'was grace that drew down the moon
and grace that raised the seas.
The magic in the people's will
will set our Mother free.

We face the East and breathe the winds
that move across this earth.
From gentle breeze to hurricane
our breath will bring forth the change.

Turn towards the South and feel the fire that burns in you and me.
The spirit's flame will rise again
and burn eternally.

We greet the West, our souls awash
in tides of primal birth.
Our tears and blood, our pain and love
will cleanse and heal the earth.

Reach into the North and know your roots down deep ancestral caves. We
find the wisdom of the Crone,
Of circles we are made.

Amazing earth, enduring life,
from death into rebirth.
T'is earth I am and earth I love
and earth I'll always be.

Amazing grace, how sweet the Earth
that bore witches like we.
We once were burned, now we survive,
were hung and now we sing.

Goddess bless, so mote it be,
Our magic spirals on.
Merry meet and merry part
and merry meet again.

Lest ye be JUDGED

"There are four ways, and only four ways, in which we have contact with
the world. We are evaluated and classified by these four contacts: what
we do, how we look, what we say, and how we say it." - Dale Carnegie
(1888-1955) American Educator

Isn't this the truth?

"Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they becomeactions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; theybecome character. Watch your character; for it becomes your destiny!" -Elisabeth KuBler-Ross (1926~) Swiss-born American Psychiatrist

Because

Don’t get lost standing still. Don’t lose yourself thinking about yesterday or tomorrow.

Breathing now, but living somewhere else.

I’ve had a few days to think, to reexamine and to enjoy myself. I know what I miss, what I don’t miss…I know what I want, what I deserve and what I cherish the most.

I followed through on plans I made for Saturday night. Its funny how Natalie adamantly wanted to go out to the BI…and then we make plans over two months in advance, and then she flakes. And despite her flaking, I still very much looked forward to going. There’s a feeling to the place I can’t quite describe.

The evening started off on a wobbly leg. We get there and I locked the keys in the car (in the ignition) with the lights on. Scott and I spent the first half an hour learning how to use a slim jim…and then finally we go in. I’m at the bar getting drinks before meeting everybody else and Sam comes up to me. I wasn’t angry or even upset about her saying hi. I’m frustrated by her actions and confused as to what her motivation was….but I didn’t let it get to me. Why she felt the need to “greet” me when Roxie and I lead separate amiable lives is perplexing.

I feel as though I’ve been through a divorce. We stopped being friends over two years ago. We went our separate ways, and I began living my life without her in it. I moved from having a constant confidante, a surrogate family, a best friend and a roommate to shielding my heart and walking away. I left a bitter young woman full of anger to holding memories of happiness and sadness. We have mutual friends, and it doesn’t bother me. I wish her well, I think about her often, but what was done had to be done. It happens, people grow apart. That’s all it was, nothing more, nothing less. It takes two to make something work.

Overall I had a wonderful time Saturday night. I forgot what it was like to love the music at the BI. I forgot what it was like to dance and really enjoy the moment. I forgot what late night trips through Jack in the Box were like. And as stupid as it sounds…I kinda forgot where I came from for awhile. You can take the girl out of the 909, but in the end you can never take the 909 out of the girl!

Scott asked me to slow dance with him to “You look wonderful tonight” and it was a made for movie moment. Instead of being filled with longing and wistfully looking at couples on the dance floor it dawned on me that I have exactly what I want. I drove back to memory lane changed but the same, with good friends and a wonderful husband. I ordered a few drinks knowing that I had the money to cover the cost…knowing that I didn’t have to drink and drink and drink to have a good time.

I’m older than my age, and yet for the first time I felt like a “whole” adult, like I’m finally becoming the person I want to be.

Today's thought

"When the eyes say one thing, and the tongue another, a practiced man
relies on the language of the first."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American Poet, Essayist

Quote I like

"The human race is governed by its imagination." - Napoleon Bonaparte(1769-1821) French Soldier, Emperor

Thank You For This Day

When the going gets tough...I need to remember to say thank you. There's a lot of shit in the world, and nothing I deal with even compares to what other people deal with. I'm grateful for today, for where I'm at. Its a beautiful day!

Thank You for this day on Earth
Ancient Mother who gave me birth

Healing Mother who keeps me strong
Crone Mother who brings each new dawn

Thank You for the gift of being
For blessing me with the wonders of seeing

For the sounds and feeling of laughter
and the wisdom learned through pain

Spirit Mother bless me,
tomorrow with a day again


-Anonymous

"The Scholar"

I’m quickly becoming addicted to “The Scholar.”

Premise: X number of high school over achievers competing for a full ride to the college of their dreams. Throw in some cheesy competitions and you have your new reality series.

Review: I can’t pinpoint my exact attraction to the show. Maybe it’s because I Identify with these kids. Rewind eight years and that’s me, I’m the girl who wanted to change everything, succeed in everything and have everything my intellectual lil mind could fathom. Everything was firmly planted in my vocabulary. I shared the same dreams as Davis (one of the dude’s on the show) and I had the same outlook on life as Milana (another character).

And look at me now…I worked just as hard as the show’s contestants, I pushed myself in the same way, and when high school was over, I gave the graduation speech and walked away with a full ride to wherever I wanted to go, in my case it wasn’t the Ivy League, just some small private school halfway between LA and Palm Springs that most people haven’t even heard of.

As I fell asleep last night I thought about “The Scholar” for a long time, about what it means, I analyzed their marketing/advertising and then I dissected the chosen contestants….then I started thinking about where these kids will be in 8 years like me. Will they be like me, or will they have gone on to find a cure for cancer, be President of the US, or walk on the Moon?

Three of us became Harbison Scholars.
Tommy just finished his masters and he’s teaching at Pomona. Eva is teaching Math at a high school somewhere, and then there’s me, the girl who thinks too much and over analyzes everything. Eight short years ago Tommy wanted to be a doctor, Eva wanted to be a teacher and I wanted to be a lawyer. There is no “lesson” to be learned, rather an observation of an observation….of an observation.

Life is merely a series of ironic events strung together to create a semblance of order and balance. So, I’m going to continue to be me, continue scratch my forehead, wiggle my nose and think too much….and you know what, I’m going to continue enjoying my life:)

"A creation of importance can only be produced when its author isolateshimself, it is a child of solitude." - Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe(1749-1832) German Poet, Dramatist, Novelist

Drowning in the abyss of aloofness

Some days I just don’t care, and other days I care too much. Balance is something I continually strive for, something I’m always trying to achieve. Balance is like water, I can’t hold it in my hands, its here for a second, and then gone in the next. How does one strive for excellence if there is no benchmark for improvement? I feel like a canary who needs to sing…

My weekend with my husband was delightful. Saturday I got up early (by Saturday standards) helped a friend pack and move her great uncle’s things, then after that I took some me time and went shopping. I rarely do anything by myself…and it was nice to just go. There was no destination in mind as I drove, my body felt like moving. I’m very much an extrovert, but as I get older I realize and appreciate the value of alone time. Saturday afternoon Scott and I went to the Erotica LA Expo held at the Convention Center…and boy was that a trip. Talk about NARSTY looking porn stars!!! Seriously, I’m SO glad I’ve never been inclined to go blonde…and you know what else, I’m so glad I’m me. Instead of seeing pretty skinny women flaunting there goods, I saw skinny, sickly women dressed like cheap whore’s smiling for whatever dick they were taking a picture with. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not anti-porn, but seriously, I’m glad that’s not me, I’m glad I don’t live my life in front of the dvd/vcr player jacking off. I’m glad I know there’s more to life.

I’ll be honest though, I feel sorry for those women, and then I think to myself, they’re the ones that chose that lifestyle, they’re the one’s that get paid to fuck on tv…they’re the ones who degrade themselves and in the end they have nobody to answer to but themselves.

I struggle with being a feminist.
In a society where misconstrued labels are everything, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m tired of defending my label. I want to be done explaining how my term feminist is different from how society views it. I’m sick of attempting to educate the stupid masses. Call me a snob, call me conceited, but come on already….when are people going to begin to truly think???

After the expo Scott and I went to dinner! I love quiet dinner dates with him…we can sit and chit chat, we can talk about something deep….or we can just sit and eat. Everyday it sinks in a lil more that he’s all mine, everyday I find another reason why I love him…and everyday I’m incredibly thankful that I’ve found the love of my life. Some people call us cheesy, or they laugh at how sentimental we are, but you know what, it’s the best feeling ever. He and I are big dorks, and finding my dorky soul mate is the best gift God’s ever given me….

I’m in the mood to babble, whether its intellectual-conceited mumbo jumbo or random shit off the top of my head…I feel compelled to just let it all flow. Some days I think I’m crazy, like there’s just too much going on in my head.

Can you ride a rainbow to the moon, or does it only travel around the world? Can I play hopscotch and end up enjoying tomorrow’s sunset? Can I pull a ribbon and make sense of all the other ribbons?

On my mind

When you go to the bathroom to pee, and a lil fart comes out, why is it that I’m SO very embarrassed? I mean, I am in the bathroom, farting is a natural bodily function, and sometimes a lil one pops out, and I don’t have any control over it. But then, I sit there procrastinating on the toilet, just sitting there, because I don’t want to walk out and have everybody know that I was the one that had the sneaker….

I had dinner with a friend last night, and it was great! We sat and talked, and laughed, and there wasn’t a bad moment. Its funny, ironic, unexpected, how people you think you’ll keep in contact with forever, aren’t the people you do, and the people you do still connect with weren’t necessarily the people you thought you’d connect with…Its random and crazy, and most unexpectedly its comforting.

There’s people from my past that I need to say good bye too, and I think I’m finally growing the cajones to do it. I don’t necessarily have the reputation as being “the nice one,” but by golly when everything is said and done I’m definitely “the people pleaser”. I care too much…I hate seeing anybody uncomfortable or in pain, and if there’s something I can do to make it better, then I do it. Well you know what, it’s a Darwinian world out there, and I’m sick of being used as a doormat, I know I’m better than that!

I didn't write this

But...I wish I did.

Coyotes

Is this world truly fallen? They say no.
For there's the new moon, there's the Milky Way,
There's the rattler with a wren's egg in its mouth,
And there's the panting rabbit they will eat.
They sing their wild hymn on the dark slope,
Reading the stars like notes of hilarious music.
Is this a fallen world? How could it be?

And yet we're crying over the stars again,
And over the uncertainty of death,
Which we suspect will divide us all forever.
I'm tired of those who broadcast their certainties,
Constantly on their cell phones to their redeemer.
Is this a fallen world? For them it is.
But there's that starlit burst of animal laughter.

The day has sent its fires scattering.
The night has risen from its burning bed.
Our tears are proof that love is meant for lifeAnd for the living.
And this chorus of praise,Which the pet dogs of the neighborhood are answering
Nostalgically, invites our answer, too.
Is this a fallen world? How could it be?

~ Mark Jarman ~
(The Atlantic, May 2003)

Would a rose my any other name smell as sweet?

For as long as I can remember I've been fascinated by names. From junior high on I've read countless baby name books. My full name (Wiski-Linnette Lee) means "water of life, song bird (or grace) of the meadow". I haven't ventured/researched what Trepesowsky means yet, but I will soon.

Our names influence our identities, they impact who we are, and how we are perceived. I've lived a different life than most because of my name, and thats just the way it is. There's no badge of honor or chip on my shoulder because of it, its just the way it is.

A friend of mine sent me a short name analysis from www.kabalarians.com. I've constantly battled with who I am, is there a difference between Wiski and Linnette, does my love of duality arise from some internal conflict bestowed upon me at birth, or is it all just mumbo jumbo?

Description of Your First Name of:
Wiski

Although the name Wiski creates idealism and the urge to help others, weemphasize that it causes a materialistic approach that frustrates higherhumanitarian qualities. This name, when combined with the last name, canfrustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause healthweaknesses in the nervous system, and reproductive organs. Your name of Wiski has brought you enjoyment in working with people incircumstances in which you can organize and direct their efforts,preferably in an executive position. You are self-expressive,philanthropic, clever, and ambitious. You like to specialize in whateveryou undertake. This name gives you an optimistic outlook on life. Youappreciate good quality in all things and want the best money can buy.You have big ideals and dreams about the things you would like but youare not always willing to put forth the necessary effort, particularlyif it means being subservient to others or having to work in anunimportant, menial capacity. Position and means are important to youand, in order to create this impression of affluence, you will spendeven when it is not prudent to do so. You like to give the impressionthat you have everything under control.

Description of Your First Name of:
Linnette

Even though the name Linnette creates the urge to be artistically creative and original, we emphasize that it causes an emotional intensity that is hard to control. This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the nervous system, and tension or accidents to the head. The name Linnette creates a dual nature in that you can be very generous and understanding, but you can also be so candid in your expression that you create misunderstanding. You struggle with the requirement to soften your expression with tact and diplomacy and to consider the feelings of others. Difficulty in accepting advice or admitting that you may have made a mistake causes you to appear to be stubborn and set in your ways. Thus, you have too often created the wrong impression, and friendships have suffered.

Deep Thoughts

"The poverty of our century is unlike that of any other. It is not, as
poverty was before, the result of natural scarcity, but of a set of
priorities imposed upon the rest of the world by the rich. Consequently,
the modern poor are not pitied - but written off as trash. The
twentieth-century consumer economy has produced the first culture for
which a beggar is a reminder of nothing."
- John Berger (1926~) English
Painter, Teacher, Art Critic

"You can tell the man who rings true from the man who rings false, not
by his deeds alone, but also his desires."
- Democritus (460-370BC)
Presocratic Greek Philosopher

I couldn't agree more

"One of the serious obstacles to the improvement of our race is
indiscriminate charity."
- Andrew Carnegie (1835-1919)
Scottish-born American Industrialist, Philanthropist

BABBALU

Disclaimer, I only pretend to me Mexican, I’m not edumacated in Espanol….so please excuse my Ps and Qs.

I have a new friend! His name is BABBALU…and he lives in my belly! (said like Mike Meyers).

Anywho, the other day I was swimming at a friend’s house wearing my new snazzy suit and embracing the dork that is I. A bunch of us started talking about Desi and Lucy, and how sexy Desi was. For a second there it was like Desi Arnaz possessed me and I was compelled to yell out BABBALU!!!!!!! Don’t ask, personally I don’t get it, I guess it was one of those moment things. It was then that I embraced the Babbalu.

I get on this kick where I say the same things over and over again…Right now I’m on the word “fuckers” and “BABBALU!” Now, I can say fuckers whenever I please, it’s a dual term, I can say it with love and compassion, imagine birds chirping, bunnies leaping through the forest (bunnies do live in forests, don’t they?) and I can also say it with malice, like when some bitch cuts me off on the 405, and the its all about wrath, displeasure and extreme pleasure. I say BABBALU in the same way Pumba farts, it just feels good to say it, rub my Buddha belly and be a dork about it all! In many ways it’s a great stress reliever.

I BABBALU in the bedroom, at work, in the car, when I’m dancing….I can’t explain it…but I can feel it. Its like Mel Gibson screaming “Freedom!”

So, when you’re down, and you need a lil pick me up, clear your throat, capture the moment and BABBALU to your hearts content!!!

BABBALOOOoo its Thursday!

Runaway

Runaway with me to Candyland
Hitch a ride with Willy Wonka
Maybe we’ll take a ride down a chocolate stream, or how does a pop rocks bubble bath sound?
Sipping punch, while leaning on a candy cane streetlight, they call her Pixie for short.
She’s rail thin, kinda pointy on both ends and a tart smile hanging on her lips.
If the price is right, she can be your suga’ for the night.

Runaway with me to Candyland
Grab onto the White Rabbit’s coat tails
Maybe we’ll venture down Sticky Alley, and lick our fingers all the way
Grubby hands, sweaty palms, somebody is always wanting more.
My bag of treats, or yours?
I’ll stick to mine thanks.

Reality is perception, perception precludes reality, perception is not reality. I miss Philosophy classes.