Feeling Comfortable

There is a difference between content and comfortable. There is an opportunity coming my way for a new job and the more I think about it the less I'm sure what to do. In the beginning when I was approached I was excited that somebody wanted me for my talents. I've never been approached by somebody wanting me on their team. I've always had to search for jobs...they've never come knocking at my door. This one is, its knocking and I don't even know if I wanna answer the door.

Relationships...

In the last 2 years I've learned that every relationship I've had or will have...will always change. What I think I have now...may not exist in another 2 years, and what I took for granted before may not always be there.

When I graduated college there were a few friendships I thought for sure would endure the test of time..and as the wheel turns I learn that some friendships were only meant to last for a certain duration...and some friendships will evolve with every life stage I find myself in.

There's a time...a place and a season for everything.

I had a good IM conversation with a friend over the weekend. She was like, I lost respect for *** when she couldn't bother to tell me she didn't want to be my friend anymore. Her typed words hit a huge cord with me. How do you tell somebody you don't want to be their friend anymore? How do you cut the tie when it already hurts so much? Everything in me tells me to walk away, to cut my losses now and to put myself first. The pain is too great...the mood changes and attitude is too much and I know that its not my problem, its her problem with the world. So what do I do?

I sat journaling earlier last week, and the question I posed to myself...what sets me apart? What makes Wiski special? Aside from aestic differences and personality quarks here and there, I realized something I've always known, yet rarely took any pride in. At the end of the day, I don't give up on people. I may say I'm done...I may wash my hands of the situation, but I never give up on people.

The possibility for growth, change and HOPE is always alive in my life.

And thus..there is my quandry. I can only avail myself for assistance, give space to the point where we no longer communicate and take the immeasurable rudeness and attitude for so long. Do I close myself off now and cross my fingers and hope that time is the solution for ***, that in the end she'll settle her own issues with the world?

Sometimes I wonder...

Just some random thoughts...

I feel as though I'm at a weird juncture in my life...its as if with every step I take forward I realize how I grow and change...and I my decisions today affect my world tomorrow. I've always known this...but I'm maturing, I'm realizing that all the thoughts in the world don't equate practice and action...all good intentions can just be that, intentions without manifestation.

Relationships are are like rubber bands...you can only stretch them so far before they snap back or just plain break. How do you pick and chose which band you're willing to break? Or rather...is this something that just happens? The bands get old, fragile and weathered and after awhile its like you're willing for them to just pop so you can start all over again?

Why is grief the way it is? My uncle passed away in March...and while I know thats not forever ago, I can't seem to grasp why some days hit me harder than others..why some days the lil things just set me off and the tears start running, and then there are other days when I think of him and can't stop laughing...where the grin is glued to my face and I can't wipe it away.

I'm on the edge of something new...not totally unfamiliar, in my mind I've been there many times before, but this time I'm sure the stop isn't going to pass me by. The bus is going to slow down, I'm going to pull the cord...and you know what, this time I'm getting off. This time I'm reaching my destination.

"I would venture to guess that Anon, who wrote so many poems without
signing them, was often a woman." - Virginia Woolf (1882-1941) [Stephen]
British Fiction Writer, Critic

"People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just
because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost." -
Jackson Brown (Life's Little Instruction Book)

"Hope is nature's veil for hiding truth's nakedness." - Alfred BernhardNobel (1833-1886) Swedish-Russian Chemist

No Title

The world as it is, as it’s been…and even more as it will be; never fails to leave me in awe. I have so many questions, but only partial answers, slips of truth muddled with the emotions of reality. Pieces that stand on their own, that’s what I choose to make my mark with.

Difficulties of understanding and perspective, where does the answer lie? Is it found in a bottle, a prescription label or how about a pipe? Can I wave a wand, chant a few words and have the instantaneous result I so desire? As I age I realize the answer becomes thinner, silkier, and less tangible; the web becomes sticky, tangled and a knotted mess.

Ownership of character…choices of need, want and then there is obligation and inner fulfillment, how does it all balance, compromise and does the end result feel how I feel? Am I standing with my arms wide open only to have my muscles grow tired, weary and drained? Am I left used, neglected and lonely? Or perhaps I have the greatest gift I could ever give myself, I find myself on a scavenger hunt for not only redemption but validation.

Muse

How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
Anais Nin

I know why familles were created, with all their imperfections. They humanize you. They are made to make you forget yourself occasionally, so that the beautiful balance of life is not destroyed.
Anais Nin

I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing.
Anais Nin

I stopped loving my father a long time ago. What remained was the slavery to a pattern.
Anais Nin

I will not be just a tourist in the world of images, just watching images passing by which I cannot live in, make love to, possess as permanent sources of joy and ecstasy.
Anais Nin

If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don't write, because our culture has no use for it.
Anais Nin

My ideas usually come not at my desk writing but in the midst of living.
Anais Nin

The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say.
Anais Nin

There are many ways to be free. One of them is to transcend reality by imagination, as I try to do.
Anais Nin

We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.
Anais Nin

We travel, some of us forever, to seek other states, other lives, other souls.
Anais Nin

When we blindly adopt a religion, a political system, a literary dogma, we become automatons. We cease to grow.
Anais Nin

A leaf fluttered in through the window this morning, as if supported by the rays of the sun, a bird settled on the fire escape, joy in the task of coffee, joy accompanied me as I walked.
Anais Nin
Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age.
Anais Nin

Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
Anais Nin