11/9/08

(copied from deleted blog)

Today Scott and I took Irelyn to Disneyland in the morning. We went on Dumbo for the first time and that was a lot of fun! Irelyn rode with Daddy and her her "o" face on during the whole ride. She's so dang cute to watch. We also went on the Alice in Wonderland ride as well as the carousel. It was a great morning!The afternoon brought heartache. There really are no words to adequately convey my thoughts or feelings right now, but I know a few of my close friends read this blog, so I might as well put it out there right now. It looks like I've miscarried the lil bug. To make a long story short, I went to the dr last week, he did a quick ultrasound and it showed that I wasn't as far along as originally thought. He attributed this to my cycle being irregular since I quit breastfeeding. He ordered blood tests to monitor my hcg levels and I have an ultrasound on Wednesday. I called today and got my hch levels from the lab and they are't favorable....I won't know officially until I talk to my doctor and have the ultrasound, but in my gut, I just know. I had a bad hour or so, Scott just held me and I cried here and there. Its easy to get down, I really want another child, but then I look at the blessings that surround me and I realize how truly blessed I am. I took a nap with Irelyn and just held her...it was good for my heart. She is the sweetest lil girl in the whole wide world. When I woke up from the nap, I felt much better...like a brick on my shoulders was lifted.Ending the blog on a fun note...after Irelyn's evening bath, I combed her hair and gave her pigtails for the first time!!