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My fish at work are growing up. When I first began babysatting them, their mommy is on maternity leave, they were on the small side...and now its been just about two months and they're HUGE! The lighter one is developing spots, which is completely normal, and the dark one acts like one of these days he's going to jump out of the tank and sit in my lap. They're possessed hungry lil fuckers, and I love 'em!

Last weekend was good...we had a yard sale and it went pretty well on Saturday. I got to spend some time with my family, had a date with Scott and checked out the Sunday services at the Goddess Temple in Orange County. All in all it was the mind relaxation the weekend provided that I desperately needed.

I'm not sure whats been with me the last week, but I've been moody, withdrawn and just in a reckless mood. I know how I used to deal with funks like this...and I know that I need to find more positive outlets. I have the desire to solve all my problems with the wave of a wand and it just isn't that easy. I need to figure out what it is thats needling me and then fix it. Thats how I work, how I want to operate....and yet its not that simple.

I don't know whats wrong with me. I'm happy with my job for the first time in like ever. I'm ecstatic about my marriage and I'm excited knowing that our first anniversary is coming up soon. I have supportive friends who love me for me, and yet there's still something there that isn't content, that feels withdrawn...that yearns to smile all the time and mean it.