Update of Sorts - No Catchy Title

I haven't written in here for so long! But yet...everyday I think about making a mark. I go to bed, and I think about writing...in fact I have all these wonderful ideas and I just wanna run to the computer...but I stop myself, I do what is right, whats in my best interest, I turn it of and go to bed...I get some rest...because in all honesty thats the one thing I crave the most in my life.

Work is improving...and I'm quite grateful. I'm happy to report that the fucktard is LEAVING and Schanelle has been hired as her replacement! All in all things look bright and promising in that corner. The property world is a completely different arena! The girl I assist and I are beyond busy...and I'm not joking when I say there isn't an end in sight...and so the band marches on! I'm learning lots....and yeah, I'm not terribly passionate about insurance, but for now, its all good. However with that said....I won't be here forever, but I won't be leaving anytime soon either! The people are nice, the environment is pleasant....and I'm planning on going back to school!

I've done so much lately...and I've only captured moments in pictures, and I feel as though words are needed. Not to justify...but to celebrate...and in many ways to move on.

I had my first real adult vacation...and for the first time ever I completely relaxed. I snuggled, huggled, giggled and at the end of the day I laid my head on a pillow and just slept. I didn't worry about bills, work deadlines, changing friendships, family or anything. I endulged my narcissism and was Wiski, with all of her faults and all of her moments. I cried, I even argued, I smashed my toe and got drunk. I saw sisters I haven't seen in years...I danced the like nobody was watching and most importantly I breathed.

I've always been one to think too much...to over analyze...and at times I've been accused of feeling too much. Acceptance is a funny word full of meaning, translation, interrpretation and at the end of the day do any of us truly know what it means? I've always thought I've accepted myself for who I am, and I do...but I've learned that there is so much more to acceptance. It can be an appearance thing, a friend thing, an intellectual thing...and a me thing, and I'm learning that I'm ok with that. I'm ok with not being perfect, I'm ok with owning up to my own mistakes...and I'm ok with saying I don't have all the answers and every day I'm learning that its ok to ask for help, its ok to lean on people you can count on. On the same page though.....I'm also ok with being the confident and intelligent woman I've become!

While I was on vacation my grandma went to the hospital and my mother didn't call me to let me know. When I got back from Tennessee she filled me in. I went through the first emotion of being angry that nobody told me...but then I realized why I didn't get the call. First of all she wasn't in any danger and secondly I worry too damn much. I will never feel guilty for caring too much about anybody....but I do struggle with worrying about things that are out of my control. My grandma is one of the most important people in my life and my bond with her is unlike any other. She's been my cheerleader, a role model and an inspiration in true compassion. When stability was an issue, she and my grandfather were always there...and now its just her, and I'm wise enough to know she won't live forever, yet numb knowing that Time is a fickle fairy.

Halloween was a turning point for me. Celtic's celebrate this as their New Year, a time for both beginnings and a time for endings and the perfect time for me to celebrate! My favorite holiday definitely did not go unnoticed. I was a whore, a witch and a fairy...hmm, I wonder what that says about who I am as a person? LOL! Scott was a pimp, a Mexican and Dorothy! Oh...and I broke bread with Schanelle and Amber (sorry, inside corny joke).

And now the Fall is here, with a Southern California bent to it...and like everything else in my world right now, it feels good. It feels good to be who I am, where I'm going...and who's along for the ride with me!