I started this journey* knowing that it wasn’t easy…knowing
that its never going to end, I’m either going to be losing weight or maintaining
the weight I’ve lost..and knowing (deeply knowing) that at the crux of it all, I’m worth it. I’m 11 weeks in, and I’m at the point where I really needed to sit down and
give myself a pep talk, so here it is.
I’m worth it because I tell Irelyn all the time that
Trepesowsky Girls aren’t quitters. I’m not a quitter. I know that I’m NOT a
quitter. If I want something I go after it and yet with my obesity I’ve always focused
on the number on the scale and its seemed like such a daunting and
insurmountable mountain to climb…I’m worth it because the size of the problem
isn’t intimidating anymore.
I’m worth it because there’s a difference between acceptance
and happiness. I am a huge advocate for treating a person as a person, regardless
of their size, but acceptance does not equal happiness. I’m not happy being
this heavy. I’m worth it because I matter, my happiness is paramount to all
else.
I’m worth it because I don’t want to feel different anymore.
I want to wear high heels and not worry about my ankles. I want board an
airplane and not worry about being embarrassed while on a work trip that I’m going
to need to buy two seats. I want to have
more clothing (and store options). Its scary when even Lane Bryant doesn’t
carry your clothing size anymore.
I’m worth it because the world isn’t made for fat people. I’m
worth it because my size is abnormal.
I’m worth it because I know whats inside, I know who I am
and I’m beyond tired of being passed up or stereotyped by my size.
I’m worth it because I want to fully live. I want to play
with my children and not be winded. I want to grow old and be a grandma with
grandchildren on my lap laughing and telling stories. I want to spend more time
in the sunshine, not hiding in the shadows…
*Can I just say that I hate the term "journey", only I can't seem to find a word that means the same thing...ggrargh!
